Ok so the party today wasn't as fun as it was yesterday I did meat Becca and Blond E. We where at Memelie's house as we where yesterday. Memelie's mom is really fun to party with. anyway Becca and Blond E brought 2 guys with them but i don't remember there names. Ohh and Alley,Kim(a guy cous people seems to asume that Kim always is a girls name) and Uffie where there too witch was fun couse i haven't meat uffie in a looooong time. We all went home early. I mostly did it cous I didn't really feel like partyng and cous i missed matt too much. I did some jigsaw puzzleing before I went to the party. And while walking to the party I called Matt today again (I hope that you don't mind that i do call you on the phone Matt)*hugs Matt tight* he was just sitting all alone in her room and I just wanted to be with him. I really hate that we live so far away from eachother as we do cous it feels kinda sad everytime one of us have to leave T_T

マシユー愛をしている

Party plans tonight again

I'm sorry that I didn't post yesterday but I was at a friends house at a party witch was really fun, I even called Matt and we talked for a little while damn I've forgotten how much I love talking to him on the phone. The party started kinda late tho around midnight my time and I got home around 6. It was really fun meeting 2 of Emelie's friends that I've never met before and Alley had also brought a friend that I didn't know but she was a really nice person. I'm going to Emelie again today because she's having another party with some more friends witch'll be really fun too. Anyway Emelie's friends don't come from the part of Sweden where I live and today when we'd bought some thing to drink to night did Emelie's mom have a little sightseeing with us all it was a lot of fun. Then we went grocery shopping and then I got home again. I really hope that Matt'll get online soon or I'll call him again today.

マシユー愛をしている

What ever other peoples might think or say I do love you Matt with all of my heart!

Today was kinda uneventful I talked to Matt but we couldn't talk for very long because he and Sam where going to watch a movie and then they where going to a restaurant or something like that. I read some manga and I played some step mania on the computer witch was fun. I'll hopefully talk more to Matt tomorrow. The sad thing is that I really miss Matt when he's not online but that's probably just because I know in my heart that i love him more that I show everyone the thing is what would everyone say od they knew that I'm inlove with some one that I haven't met in real life before? But I really do belive in love and I know that online love can me as strong as love can be when you've met the person in real life too. I hope that all this talk about love isn't too much but I just want you to know that i really do love you Matt and that I can't wait till we do meet up in real life

マシユ愛をしている<3

I'm feeling better

Ok so to day wasn't all that fun but the good news is that I'm feeling better and that my cold is nearly gone so i guess that it's all better now. Nothing much happened to day except from getting my pay check and my manga comic book thing called shojo star. I've been reading a manga called God child and it's so good. Me talked about condoms and edible underwear. My friend and I are going to start planing for the anime club on Friday. Of some reason I wanna go buy some condoms. Anyway I'm going to my sister's house on Tuesday and won't be back till the day after. I'm going to buy Uppcon tickets tomorrow and I just can't wait. I can't wait to go visit Matt ether and hopefully i will visit over valentines day.

マシユー愛をしている

A pen in my hand!

25may 2004

A pen in my hand. What can I do?
Write some letters,
one word or two.
If I had a painting brush
I could have draw and paint too.
But now I can just draw without colouring it.
A pen in my hand. What can I do?
Write some letters,
one word or two.

2 poems made in 2004 by me

Two souls born to be free. One can't be!

25 may 2004

A bird is born to be free,
to fly in the sky.
A horse is born to be free too
but what do human do?
The eagle the king of the sky
he won't you tame.
But the horse the king of freedom
you want to tame him.
Why would you do something like that?
You maybe want to have a friend but then remember he was born to be free, you can't always tame him.
It´s the same with peace, you want to have it but it isn´t always that easy.
A bird is born to be free.
A horse is born to be free too. So don't be angry on him if you can't tame him.
The bird and the horse. Two souls that was born to be free. One can't be thanks to YOU.


An eagle!

30 august 2004

An eagle cry!
I wish I could hear it.
An eagle feather!
I wish I could touch it.
An eagle in the sky!
I wish I could see it.
Why is it always like this?
You wish things but you can never get it.
You want to do things but you can’t do it.
The eagle is born to be free and so you should be too.
An eagle cry!
I wish I could hear it.
An eagle feather!
I wish I could touch it.
An eagle in the sky!
I wish I could see it.
An eagle that is free!

Feeling a bit better

Today was a bit better i didn't feel as bad as i did yesterday and my fever wasn't as high ether, so I guess that it's all better now. Me and my friend are going to for an anime club in our town so we need to meet up and make things for the anime club like doing posters. Matt has as always been really kind to me and he understand that I don't always feel as good as everyone expect me to do. I can't wait till we do meet up. Today did my mom help me cleaning some of my room because I wanted it a bit nicer and cleaner so that I could put up the Christmas decorations. I only got about 1 week till I start to work, I'll work a little more than a month this time witch will be really nice because the money I'll make will hopefully pay my trip to Manchester so I can visit Matt. If I'm lucky I'll watch Free Willy tomorrow. I hang out on www.elftown.com as I usually do everyday. But what ever anyone says to me i won't change my mind Matt you're probobly the onlyone that knows what it mean but マシユー愛をしている.

マシユー愛をしている

Beeing sick sucks

Beeing sick sucks so much. And I just hate colds they makes me feel worse.

Anyhow today I wanna complain a bit why? 'Cous I'm anoyed at people that think that everyone that cuts, selfharm and wants to comit suicide are bad people. Why can't they just see that these peoples just need some help? Or maybe they just need someone to talk to what do you know? I can tell you that i know that it is in fact like that. I've been really down but most of my friends didn't notice it becouse they didn't look close enught. Cutting,selfharming and suicideis isually a big part of a persons day. It was a big part of my day once but now I feel better 'couse i do have a few friends that i do know care alot that would miss me.

Anyway to day was really boring i woke up cous the phone was rining it was the boss (i only work sometimes cous I'm unemplyed and when i do work is it cous someone calls in sick) that wanted me to work tomorrow, I said yes first but then later when I woke up again i felt that i couldn't cous i had a bad cold and fever. So today was spent infront of the computer and the telly. I've been talking to matt most of the time. The fever isn't that high at the moment but i still feel sick tho.

マシユー愛をしている

マシユークン愛をしている！ Matt -kun ai wo shiteiru !

The sunrise is the begining of a new day much like spring is a promiss of new fresh life. That the butterflies are flying from flower to flower.
The sunset is the end of the day and a promiss that a new say soon will arive for you to love, but it's also a promiss on an ending of a period or time. The winter is here, it's cold ya know. I know that my heart will allways be warn thanx to you. Sunrise or sunset doesn't matter 'cous I know that you'll be right next to me no matter what to keep me safe and warm.

マシユー愛をしている
Matt ai wo shiteiru

Thoughts

I might look a bit slow.
But even I know
that everyone want the answers
of the ones that is bright.
I hide my brightness from you,
I don't want to be the one,
that eveyone gets the answer from.
My mind is set so the brightbness wont shine
becous you can answer yourself.

I know that i'm clever but i don't want to show it why? Becouse everyone just expect big sthings of you if you so show it, and i don't wnat everyone to expect big things from me, I mean i just wannt to be abel to goof around and have fun like everyone else. If you want answers then answer them yourself.

マタチュウ大好き<3>

Nande

Ok so this is my first blog and my first blong entry. If you got a problem with me writing in english then you don't have to continue read my entries cous they'll continue to be written in english. Anyway, I didn't do too much today cous I got a cold witch sucks. My mom got into a Christmas mood so we did some decorations in the house. I became in a reall x-mas mood and started to play some x-mas songs. Matt started to talk about shintoism so i looked it up on wikipedia and read everything that it had to say bout it. Then me and Matt started to talk about cat and dog breeds and what kind of dogs and cats we would like to have. I'm not going to complain or anything right now cous it's my first day and first entry, I'm exited how everything will turn out when I've started to blog and what you all will say.

Roses are red,violets are blue oh matt i love you so.

Visit Matt's blog on http://mattachublog.blogspot.com/

マシユーくん愛している