22-27 of december

Lapie(my laptop) went all strange. The charger thing disapairted inside the laptop so I can't charge the battery or anything. This happened the 22nd of december. Anyway, I spent the 23-25th of december at my sisters house with her family. That means that I spent a lot of time with my nices and it was so fun. My youngest nice had been taken a few steps at occasions but on Christmas eve's day (24th of december) she walked alot for the first time and i was there to see it.Me and my sister made the chistmas dinner together. My parents and brother arived at my sisters house in the early afternoon. And some minuts later I called Matt-kun to say Marry Chistmas. I was really happy that i could talk some with him. When i was talking to Matt the other guests arived and i had to hang up. I the evening we had a lot of nice food and then we got the gifts. We had some home made Cistmas candy and played a game.


The 23rd was a nice day too. I went to one of my favorit stores in the city where my sister lives. They got these really cool plushis in that sotore shaped as different microbes, like bacterias, infections and body cells. I found the one I've seen before that I thought was really adorable, it's a plushie shaped as a chickenpox cell.

25th of december wasn't that eventfull. We went home from my sister. My aunt had gotten hjer pug puppy so me and mom went to see him. His name is Budda and he's just the most adorable dog I've ever seen I just want a pug too after seeing little Budda! Anyway, we had a calm evening and watched some telly.

To day was a lazy day too. I watched some telly and went to see my aunt and budda again. I had a calm evening and then i finely got to borrow dad's computer witch made me really happy.

I'll try to get my laptop fixed as soon as possible till then I just has to be a nice girl so i can ask my dad nicly so i can borrow his computer.

mashiyuu ai wo shiteiru <3

I'm going to a Christmas market tomorrow witch means that I won't be able to talk to Matt at all tomorrow, witch is sad. But then again the market is so beautiful that I can't wait.

Yesterday did one of my best friends make cry, but it wasn't tears of sorrow but of happiness. she wrote about how much the question I asked her about 2 and a half year ago meant to her. How much that single question about her lastname had made her come out of her shell how I helped her meet new peoples had helped her. I didn't even know that and still it felt like I did some how. I cried for nearly an hour. I want to be her friends for ever and I hope that we can do some train travelling in Europe as we've been talking about. I really hope that she know that she have helped me a lot too, and so has Matt. I just wish that everyone could have as good friends as I got. i really love my friends and Matt and I don't want to loose any of them.

Alley and Maria friends for ever.

マシユー愛をしている<3

Been feeling bad.

Ok I didn't get myself to write on here for two days because I've had a fever and a bad headache. Anyway the day before yesterday did me and my mom(we're working for the same person at the moment) went out with work to eat some Swedish Christmas food with the work. It was really fun but I bumped my head on a lamp in the bus and it hurt so bad, but it was still fun. Me,my mom and a colleague where singing Rudolf the red nose reindeer when we where in the ladies room.

Yesterday was I feeling bad, having a fever and felt like throwing up, but i went to work anyway and i had to do 1 hour of overtime. But it was ok. I slept most afternoon and got to talk to Matt most of the afternoon so it was ok.

Today did I wake up still feeling bad but I didn't have the phone number I needed to call in sick so I went to work to try work some but I got sent home when I got there witch I think was the best thing because I've been really dizzy. I went to bed when I got home again and slept till 11 witch was really nice watched TV till 4 when Matt got online. I talked with him till around 8 because he where going to Japanese Society Christmas Party at his uni witch I hope will be fun. I got to see him in a suit and he was really handsome in it. Watched some more TV with my parents when he left then I got online and looked for someone to talk to. Matt will get back in about 1 hour or so but I don't know if I'll stay awake till then because I'm a bit tired.

マシユー愛をしている<3

2 days

I forgotten to write yesterday so I'll do both the Sunday and the Monday blog today.

Sunday where I awoken by my aunt talking to one of our cats. She and mom had decided to make sausages together the day before and they wanted me to help out so I had no choice but get up at noon. I helped them out and did minced meat and everything. It was fun. Then mom decided to make my family's favourite Christmas cookies and I just relaxed. I talked to Matt for a really long while. It's unbelievable that we've known each other as good as we do now for only 2 years but I'm really happy bout having him as a really good friend.

Monday was an early start and I barely had any sleep. I had to get up at 4:30 am to go to work, started working at 5:00 am. Today was a pretty good day at work because I didn't have to do overtime witch makes me happy and my tummy didn't hurt. I got home around 9:00 am and got online. I fell asleep watching telly and didn't really notice that my mom got home from work. When I woke up it was 3 and Cardcaptor Sakura starts that time so I went online and talked to Matt. We've been talking most of the time sense then. We're playing an association game at the moment and it's really fun.

マシユークンだいすき<3

Today wasn't that fun. I woke up went out shopping got online talked to Matt. And Matt came up with a really cool idea how to tell his and my parents that we like each other a lot and I really hope that the plan will work as planed. I've watched a movie with my parents and listened to radio too. I don't know what to write here today that's why it'll be as short as it is. I'll blog some more tomorrow I hope.

A pen in my hand

25 may2004

A pen in my hand. What can I do?
Write some letters,
one word or two.
If I had a painting brush
I could have draw and paint too.
But now I can just draw without colouring it.
A pen in my hand. What can I do?
Write some letters,
one word or two.

マシユークンだいすき<3

I just wanna be there

I worked today, it was only suposed to be 3,5 hours but it became 5,5 hours. I slept for about 5 hours when I got home. In talked some with Matt too befor he had to go.

Anyway I really hate not being able to be with the once I love when I know that they need me. I really want to go see Matt as soon as I can but I'm a bit scared too. I'm scared because of what can happen. I just hope that everything will turn out for the best. I'm feeling a bit meh at the moment because of my emotions are like they are sometimes. I can't wait till I finally can meet up with Matt.

マシユー愛をしている<3

Rain,thunder and snow

To day was kinda eventful. It started out with we(my sisters family and I) being woken up by a loud BOOM! anyway me and my sister went back to sleep and slept till 9:30. Then we had some breakfast. Then we saw that it was snowing kinda heavily. We stayed inside most of the day. I called my mom to say that I was going to be home around 6-6:30pm my time but after we had hang up I decided to stay because my sister and her housebound said that it was ok. Just before dinner me and my oldest nice went outside to play in the snow. Then we we had dinner, took a bath and then watched some TV. When the kids had gone to bed me and my sister played some Ticket to ride, Uno and some card witch was fun. My sister is sleeping now and i'm on my way to bed. I'll go home around 1:30-2:00pm my time tomorrow but i'll go to bed early cous i'm working on friday. I miss you all.

マシユー愛をしている<3

Visiting my sister

I have had a great day. I went up early so i could get reddy so i could go to my sisters house. Then when I was finished I biked to the bus stop and when i got there I called Matt as I had prommised him to do. After riding the bus for about 30 minuts or so i had to catch the train and about 1 hour later I was here. We took a trip to the asian shop and I bought some stuff. Then we got to my sisters house and had some lunch and then we played some(or my nices did), then we started to prepare the dinner. The dinner was home made springrolls witch are really yummy. After dinner (when my nieces had gone to sleep) then we played some Uno and som trivial persute and have some ginger bread coockies witch where really nice. Well there's nothing much else to say bout today exept from

マシユー愛をしている<3

Pirced ear

Today did a lot happen even if nothing much happened. I was woken because the boss called and wanted me to work tomorrow witch i couldn't because I had other plans, the reason is that I'm going to visit my sister and her family tomorrow. I'm going to miss Matt a lot but I can still send him text messages so it's pretty ok. When I'd gotten out of bed I continued on the round jigsaw puzzle we've bought to support WWF, and because we do buy the puzzle every year. Then i watched some telly. They showed both NCIS and Scrubs and later i found out that they still show the first anime i saw when i knew what anime was, if you wonder what anime it is then it's called Cardcaptor Sakura. I watched telly while i was waiting for the clock to become 4pm because i where going to met up with my friend Mathilda because we had planed since Wednesday that we where going to the jewlery store to get out ear pierced. I finely got the gold star earring I wanted so I'm happy but my ear is a bit sore. At least I know what side I won't sleep on for about 1-1,5 weeks or so. I've been talking to Matt more or less all night witch is good cous I'll be at my sister tomorrow and won't be abel to talk to him when I'm there. I'll miss him and he'll probably miss me too but it's only for 1 day so we'll survive.

マシユー愛をしている<3

A boring day

Today was ok tho I didn't do too much. I helped my mom make some buns and I made a strange smoothie, I made it of a banana, some frozen raspberries, an apple and some lime juice. Then I decided to log on and see if Matt was on and he was and we've talked sense then. The good thing bout laptops is that you can use it nearly anywhere so I've been able to watch telly and do a jigsaw puzzle while talking to Matt. I've been in a pretty strange mood today...and I wanted to do something kinda bad before but thanks to Matt i haven't. Thanks you Matt for always being there when I need you and when I need need to talk you're always there to listen, you've probably saved my live more than once.

マシユー愛をしている<3

Ok so the party today wasn't as fun as it was yesterday I did meat Becca and Blond E. We where at Memelie's house as we where yesterday. Memelie's mom is really fun to party with. anyway Becca and Blond E brought 2 guys with them but i don't remember there names. Ohh and Alley,Kim(a guy cous people seems to asume that Kim always is a girls name) and Uffie where there too witch was fun couse i haven't meat uffie in a looooong time. We all went home early. I mostly did it cous I didn't really feel like partyng and cous i missed matt too much. I did some jigsaw puzzleing before I went to the party. And while walking to the party I called Matt today again (I hope that you don't mind that i do call you on the phone Matt)*hugs Matt tight* he was just sitting all alone in her room and I just wanted to be with him. I really hate that we live so far away from eachother as we do cous it feels kinda sad everytime one of us have to leave T_T

マシユー愛をしている

Party plans tonight again

I'm sorry that I didn't post yesterday but I was at a friends house at a party witch was really fun, I even called Matt and we talked for a little while damn I've forgotten how much I love talking to him on the phone. The party started kinda late tho around midnight my time and I got home around 6. It was really fun meeting 2 of Emelie's friends that I've never met before and Alley had also brought a friend that I didn't know but she was a really nice person. I'm going to Emelie again today because she's having another party with some more friends witch'll be really fun too. Anyway Emelie's friends don't come from the part of Sweden where I live and today when we'd bought some thing to drink to night did Emelie's mom have a little sightseeing with us all it was a lot of fun. Then we went grocery shopping and then I got home again. I really hope that Matt'll get online soon or I'll call him again today.

マシユー愛をしている

What ever other peoples might think or say I do love you Matt with all of my heart!

Today was kinda uneventful I talked to Matt but we couldn't talk for very long because he and Sam where going to watch a movie and then they where going to a restaurant or something like that. I read some manga and I played some step mania on the computer witch was fun. I'll hopefully talk more to Matt tomorrow. The sad thing is that I really miss Matt when he's not online but that's probably just because I know in my heart that i love him more that I show everyone the thing is what would everyone say od they knew that I'm inlove with some one that I haven't met in real life before? But I really do belive in love and I know that online love can me as strong as love can be when you've met the person in real life too. I hope that all this talk about love isn't too much but I just want you to know that i really do love you Matt and that I can't wait till we do meet up in real life

マシユ愛をしている<3

I'm feeling better

Ok so to day wasn't all that fun but the good news is that I'm feeling better and that my cold is nearly gone so i guess that it's all better now. Nothing much happened to day except from getting my pay check and my manga comic book thing called shojo star. I've been reading a manga called God child and it's so good. Me talked about condoms and edible underwear. My friend and I are going to start planing for the anime club on Friday. Of some reason I wanna go buy some condoms. Anyway I'm going to my sister's house on Tuesday and won't be back till the day after. I'm going to buy Uppcon tickets tomorrow and I just can't wait. I can't wait to go visit Matt ether and hopefully i will visit over valentines day.

マシユー愛をしている

A pen in my hand!

25may 2004

A pen in my hand. What can I do?
Write some letters,
one word or two.
If I had a painting brush
I could have draw and paint too.
But now I can just draw without colouring it.
A pen in my hand. What can I do?
Write some letters,
one word or two.

2 poems made in 2004 by me

Two souls born to be free. One can't be!

25 may 2004

A bird is born to be free,
to fly in the sky.
A horse is born to be free too
but what do human do?
The eagle the king of the sky
he won't you tame.
But the horse the king of freedom
you want to tame him.
Why would you do something like that?
You maybe want to have a friend but then remember he was born to be free, you can't always tame him.
It´s the same with peace, you want to have it but it isn´t always that easy.
A bird is born to be free.
A horse is born to be free too. So don't be angry on him if you can't tame him.
The bird and the horse. Two souls that was born to be free. One can't be thanks to YOU.


An eagle!

30 august 2004

An eagle cry!
I wish I could hear it.
An eagle feather!
I wish I could touch it.
An eagle in the sky!
I wish I could see it.
Why is it always like this?
You wish things but you can never get it.
You want to do things but you can’t do it.
The eagle is born to be free and so you should be too.
An eagle cry!
I wish I could hear it.
An eagle feather!
I wish I could touch it.
An eagle in the sky!
I wish I could see it.
An eagle that is free!

Feeling a bit better

Today was a bit better i didn't feel as bad as i did yesterday and my fever wasn't as high ether, so I guess that it's all better now. Me and my friend are going to for an anime club in our town so we need to meet up and make things for the anime club like doing posters. Matt has as always been really kind to me and he understand that I don't always feel as good as everyone expect me to do. I can't wait till we do meet up. Today did my mom help me cleaning some of my room because I wanted it a bit nicer and cleaner so that I could put up the Christmas decorations. I only got about 1 week till I start to work, I'll work a little more than a month this time witch will be really nice because the money I'll make will hopefully pay my trip to Manchester so I can visit Matt. If I'm lucky I'll watch Free Willy tomorrow. I hang out on www.elftown.com as I usually do everyday. But what ever anyone says to me i won't change my mind Matt you're probobly the onlyone that knows what it mean but マシユー愛をしている.

マシユー愛をしている

Beeing sick sucks

Beeing sick sucks so much. And I just hate colds they makes me feel worse.

Anyhow today I wanna complain a bit why? 'Cous I'm anoyed at people that think that everyone that cuts, selfharm and wants to comit suicide are bad people. Why can't they just see that these peoples just need some help? Or maybe they just need someone to talk to what do you know? I can tell you that i know that it is in fact like that. I've been really down but most of my friends didn't notice it becouse they didn't look close enught. Cutting,selfharming and suicideis isually a big part of a persons day. It was a big part of my day once but now I feel better 'couse i do have a few friends that i do know care alot that would miss me.

Anyway to day was really boring i woke up cous the phone was rining it was the boss (i only work sometimes cous I'm unemplyed and when i do work is it cous someone calls in sick) that wanted me to work tomorrow, I said yes first but then later when I woke up again i felt that i couldn't cous i had a bad cold and fever. So today was spent infront of the computer and the telly. I've been talking to matt most of the time. The fever isn't that high at the moment but i still feel sick tho.

マシユー愛をしている

マシユークン愛をしている！ Matt -kun ai wo shiteiru !

The sunrise is the begining of a new day much like spring is a promiss of new fresh life. That the butterflies are flying from flower to flower.
The sunset is the end of the day and a promiss that a new say soon will arive for you to love, but it's also a promiss on an ending of a period or time. The winter is here, it's cold ya know. I know that my heart will allways be warn thanx to you. Sunrise or sunset doesn't matter 'cous I know that you'll be right next to me no matter what to keep me safe and warm.

マシユー愛をしている
Matt ai wo shiteiru

Thoughts

I might look a bit slow.
But even I know
that everyone want the answers
of the ones that is bright.
I hide my brightness from you,
I don't want to be the one,
that eveyone gets the answer from.
My mind is set so the brightbness wont shine
becous you can answer yourself.

I know that i'm clever but i don't want to show it why? Becouse everyone just expect big sthings of you if you so show it, and i don't wnat everyone to expect big things from me, I mean i just wannt to be abel to goof around and have fun like everyone else. If you want answers then answer them yourself.

マタチュウ大好き<3>

Nande

Ok so this is my first blog and my first blong entry. If you got a problem with me writing in english then you don't have to continue read my entries cous they'll continue to be written in english. Anyway, I didn't do too much today cous I got a cold witch sucks. My mom got into a Christmas mood so we did some decorations in the house. I became in a reall x-mas mood and started to play some x-mas songs. Matt started to talk about shintoism so i looked it up on wikipedia and read everything that it had to say bout it. Then me and Matt started to talk about cat and dog breeds and what kind of dogs and cats we would like to have. I'm not going to complain or anything right now cous it's my first day and first entry, I'm exited how everything will turn out when I've started to blog and what you all will say.

Roses are red,violets are blue oh matt i love you so.

Visit Matt's blog on http://mattachublog.blogspot.com/

マシユーくん愛している